Sunday, August 30, 2009

Saturday and Sunday's Cat


'If animals could speak the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.'

Mark Twain

Friday, August 28, 2009

Writers:Egos and Insecurities


Okay, I know its not politically correct to vent on line but I'm about to do it. A friend of mine has been trying to get a manuscript sold for quite awhile. I've read it. Its well written. She has a lovely talent of describing things and places without bogging you down with extraneous information. And its a good read. Definitely falls under the category of sweet romance.

I just received an email from her telling me that a 'pro-writer' had been at her library reading and selling her (the pro-writer's) book. To boost interest she had a drawing offering a fifty page critique. Unfortunately, my friend won. This woman trashed my friend's work in front of other people, throwing around terms like no talent, no creativity, toss it.

Can you believe this?

Most of us that write are an insecure breed. Well okay obviously this particular 'pro-writer', and I use the term loosely because I don't understand a professional acting like that, is the exception. To do this to anyone is inexcuseable, but to someone who is still trying to sell her first novel. There's absolutely no excuse for it.

I've heard horror stories from my friends, and it always astounds me that anyone could have such a bloated, inflated ego that they would crush others to make themselves look good, at least in their eyes. And I can think of no other reason for such actions.

Have you ever had this happen to you? I sincerely hope not.

Hope and Inspiration


This was forwarded to me via email. Its a sad story with a wonderful, uplifting ending.

'This grey speckled pony was abandoned by her owners when Hurricane Katrina hit southern Louisiana. She spent weeks on her own before finally being rescued and taken to a farm where abandoned animals were stockpiled. While there, she was attacked by a pit bull terrier and almost died. Her gnawed right front leg became infected.

The surgeon saw how the pony was careful to lie down on different sides so she didn't seem to get sores, and how she allowed people to handle her. She protected her injured leg. She constantly shifted her weight and didn't overload her good leg. She was a smart pony with a serious survival ethic.

He agreed to remove her leg below the knee and a temporary artificial limb was built. The pony walked out of the clinic and her story really begins there.

Her story turns into a parable for life in Post-Katrina Louisiana...The little pony gained weight and her mane finally felt a comb. A human prosthesis designer built her a leg.

The pony asks for it. She will put her little limb out, and come to you and let you know that she wants you to put it on. Sometimes she wants you to take it off too. And sometimes, she gets away from her owner. "It can be pretty bad when you can't catch a three-legged horse," her owner laughs.

Most important or all she has a job now. The rescue farm owner, started taking her to shelters, hospitals, nursing homes and rehab centers. Wherever the pony went, she showed people her pluck. She inspired people and she had a good time doing it.

The surgeon said, "She survived the hurricane, she survived a horribly injury, and now she is giving hope to others."'

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Thursday's Cat, Chocolate Math



Cats invented self esteem--Erma Bombeck


Your Age By Chocolate Math


Pick the number of times a week you would like chocolate. (More than once but less than 10) Multiply this number by two
Add five
Multiply it by 50
If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 ..If you haven't, add 1758.

Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your original number(i.e, how many times you want to have chocolate each week). The next two numbers are your age.
This actually worked for me. Woo-woo math stuff.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

California Wild Fires



I'm not sure where this story originated from, I just received this from an email rescue group and wanted to share it.

"The Jesusita Fire in Santa Barbara , CA last week caused these two to take shelter together. The fawn is 3 days old and the bobcat about 3 weeks. The fawn came from somewhere in the fire and the bobcat from Carpentaria. They immediately bonded and snuggled together under a desk in the Santa Barbara County Dispatch Office for several hours. Extremely alert reader Fiv3r is reporting that Animal Planet is reporting the bobcat kitten was rescued near Arnold Schwarzeneggers ranch, where it was dehydrated and near death. They rescued the fawn during last weeks wildfire. Although wild animals, especially of separate species, are never placed together due to regulations, in this emergency situation, they had no choice. During the mayhem of the fire, they were forced to put animals anywhere they could, since they had run out of crates large enough for the fawn. The kitten ran to the fawn, and it was instant bonding. "

Wednesday's Cat


My husband said it was him or the cat...I miss him sometimes
anonymous

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Monday and Tuesday's Cat


Thou art the Great Cat, the avenger of the Gods, and the Judge of Words, and the President of the Sovereign Chiefs and the Governor of the Holy Circle; thou art indeed....The Great Cat --Inscription on the royal tombs at Thebes

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this---anonymous



Saturday, August 22, 2009

Boy Toy




A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?'


The clerk says, 'What denomination?'


The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.'

* * *


A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'


The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'


HE NEVER HEARD THE SHOT....





Nice, huh? My bro is on his way to pick up his new toy, aptly named the D-Stressor. He's earned it. He's worked hard since he was eighteen, almost always having at least two jobs going, while on the side building his own homes and repairing his own automobiles. Like all of us, he's had to deal with life, the kind that makes you angry, sick, sometimes just plain crazy. But he's never quit. And now..lets just say there's a lot of sunshine in his life. Enjoy, bro.

The other bro was working in a factory several years ago that got outsourced. He went back to school. This December he'll receive his bachelor's degree in accounting. Way to go.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Friends



A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'Coke drawer' with her foot!

A simple friend has never seen you cry.

A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.

A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.

A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.

A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it!

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.

A real friend expects to always be there for you!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Life may not be the party we'd hoped for, but while we're here we should dance...or maybe take another nap.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Monday, August 17, 2009

Monday's Quote

Remember, man does not live by bread alone. Sometimes he needs a little buttering up.

John C. Maxwell

Saturday, August 15, 2009

NEW VOICES

Go for the moon. If you don't get it, you'll still be headed for a star.

Willis Reed



NEW VOICES

Calling All Authors:

Do you remember your first dream?

Epic Authors presents the 2010 New Voices Writing Competition for young writers. This free annual contest provides the opportunity for budding authors to submit and be judged, and to win and be published.

“Viewpoints are rapidly changing in the publishing industry and our school systems regarding e-publishing. EPIC’s members have been on the forefront of the literacy fight, speaking at schools and conferences, encouraging evocative and expressive writing from young writers.”
--New Voices Brochure

The New Voices competition takes short stories, essays, and poetry submissions from youth ages 11 to 18 (Middle School and High School). Judges are educational or publishing professionals. Our winners are chosen from each age group and category, and are published in an anthology. Prizes vary and range from an e-reader to gift certificates (and more).

New Voices is a wonderful chance to encourage our youth to develop their talents and pursue their goals. Spread the word about New Voices and foster a child’s dream.

Visit the New Voices website for details: newvoicesyoungwriters.com

Or, for more information, contact newvoices.chair@gmail.com

Danielle Thorne
New Voices 2010 Co-Chair
www.daniellethorne.jimdo.com

Monday, August 10, 2009

Friday, August 7, 2009

Rescue: The good, The Bad, The Tired

Something horrific happened recently to a fellow blogger involving an animal and rescue. My heart goes out to her and particularly to the poor animal. An animal rescue came under fire and it sounds like it should have and could have handled the situation better. But today I'd like to chat about the other side of the coin for rescue groups in general.

Like any other organization rescue has unscrupulous, dishonest people in it.

There are also folks with absolutely no people skills and they don't give a rats rear end how they come across to other people. These volunteers will be the first to tell you, they don't like people and would take an animal over another human being any day and they treat folks accordingly. And though they help the animals, they don't help the cause.

But the majority of rescue folks falls into the bone tired category. Physically. Emotionally. Worn out body and soul. These folks are overworked, have no life, get no pay, are accosted by strangers on the street that have a situation that they expect this volunteer to do something about because they belong to a group that rescues animals. My response was always, "You seem very passionate about animals. Join us. Help us." The whole tone of the conversation would change at that point, but I never got any takers.

Most folks that do rescue burn out. Because there's such a shortage they are expected to do the work of five people and instead of taking care of one animal, they're given several. Several cats peeing all over their house or several dogs tearing up their furniture. They deal as long as they can then throw up their hands and quit.

And the decisions that have to be made are heart breaking. Some simplified examples:

Your organization has exactly one thousand dollars that has come in through donations or fundraisers. With that money, you have two options: you can save two healthy dogs and five healthy cats that are highly adoptable or you can save one poor cat or dog that's been hit by a car and can be saved but it will take every single penny in the coffer and then some. You can't do both. You have to make the decision. What are you going to do? You and you alone will be the one tossing and turning at night because of the animal/animals you didn't save.

Maybe you're the volunteer that answers the phones. Someone calls and tells you their cat or dog just had a litter and they can't keep them. You're full up. If you have a facility, there's no spare cages. And if you don't have a facility, there's no available foster. And the person on the other end of the phone is telling you, "If you don't take them, I'll take them to the pound where they'll be gassed and it will be your fault they died." Sound extreme? Its not. It happens all the time. Or you have room and can take them but this person isn't willing to get his animal spayed, so the cycle will continue and he'll be calling you every spring expecting you to take responsibility for his apathy.
Or you get a call about a cat that's starving, living out of garbage cans and someone has threatened to shoot it. It takes you hours maybe days to find someone to take in that cat and by then its too late.

Maybe you're the volunteer that pulls from the kill-shelter. You only have room for one in your rescue. Here's your choice: There's two seniors, four adults, and fifteen kittens that are on death row. Some looking at you with hope filled eyes, pleading with you to be their savior. The rest are looking at you out of dull, lack lustre eyes devoid of all hope, smelling the death and fear of those who have gone before them. You pick out the one animal you're going to save, and turn your back on the rest, knowing the eyes of those left behind will haunt you the rest of your life.

To survive, volunteers often get desensitized. I imagine its very similar to doctors and soldiers that deal with death daily. Its not the way they started out, its not the way they planned to end up but it happened.

Unfortunately, when you rescue an animal there's a real possibility you'll have to go it alone, because there's not enough funds, not enough volunteers and not enough space.

What can we do about this plight? First and foremost spay and neuter our animals. Secondly volunteer or make donations to our local rescue(s). Together we can make a difference.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Anniversary Wish, Six AM



Anniversary Wish


A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th weddinganniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.


The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.


The husband thought for a moment: 'Well , this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'


The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92years old.


The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....

Thanks, Leslee.


* * *
For those of you where its already Monday morning:

Six a.m.

by

Mike Cox


And the morning comes like a headache
Refusing to be reasonable,
A quivering lipped trumpeter brazenly off key.

I find each muscle chained to the bed,
Victims of gravity maliciously reapportioned,
In need of conformation that rigor mortis has not set in.

My mind rattles around searching for a kick
That will propel it, lurch after lurch,
Toward the affirmation of my name.

Through it all, a single index finger,
Slightly trembling, yet resolute
Stretches forward toward the coffeemaker start button.


Saturday, August 1, 2009

Ambiguity




THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY

1 . ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

3. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?

11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

18. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

19. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

20. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

21. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

22. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

23. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD LISP TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

24. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED HEMORRHOIDS INSTEAD OF ASSTEROIDS?

25. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

26. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

I think my favs or 18 and 24. Which did you like the best?




Furgi, the new foster.